Inchstones
“This all starts with hard work and ends with champagne”
-Michael Jordan
In our house we celebrate every developmental progress no matter the size and more importantly for both of our girls. Recently I learned of the term INCHSTONE and I absolutely love the idea and didn’t realize there was a name for the small victories we were already celebrating. An inchstone is a term used when children with developmental delays or special needs show success on an aspect of a bigger goal you’ve all been working towards. Or it could be something you haven’t quite put a lot of attention on just yet or maybe didn’t think it was something they’d ever do. This could be something like making a more pronounced sound that is getting them closer to saying a specific word, pulling the velcro on their shoe, wiping their face off, voluntarily getting in a position to sit or kneel up, etc. An inchstone is often a moment that might not be seen as a celebration with a child that is developing at the same rate as their peers. Don’t get me wrong I think inchstones can also be huge milestones in any child, regardless of their development. When a child is working towards a specific end goal and the child is getting some major roadblocks even the slightest breakthrough can be seen as a huge leap. I love the idea of celebrating inchstones for both of our girls!
When I started to look more into the term and idea of inchstones the phrase “inch by inch” kept coming to mind. By definition the phrase means to move slowly and carefully. Which if you are working tirelessly on teaching your body or brain to develop in a different way than what is “typical” for others you are definitely being careful and meticulous in your actions. It has been absolutely amazing and wild to watch Camilla over the past 2 1/2 years as she has worked to teach her body a new development plan, her brain knows what it wants to do but has some trouble relaying the message to her body. You see how intentional she is with every one of her movements at times because she is focusing on the task at hand. And then I watch Vivienne (Millie’s 1 year old sister) just all of a sudden one day pull herself up and start taking a few steps or fall over, roll on her belly and pop herself back up in a matter of seconds. It has been so cool and interesting to watch the two girls develop in their own way at their own pace. When we got pregnant with Vivienne all of Millie’s therapists told us the baby would be such a motivation for Camilla. They were so absolutely right and sometimes I almost can’t wrap my brain around how much the girls already motivate each other! Nobody better than your sibling to really push you towards your goals...it’ll be great to see how they continue as they grow older.
Another thing that is fabulous about inchstones is that they can be something that your child just inherently starts to do or has watched you do it so many times they have picked up on the actions. You might not have made that particular thing (word, action, movement, etc) a goal yet or put focused attention on it in terms of developing in that area just yet. But just like one of their peers who learns said skill with less restrictions your child has picked up how to perform the skill. This can be a huge breakthrough because it shows so many different degrees of learning, understanding and development on a cognitive and physical level. We’ve seen Millie do things like help take her shoes off, wipe off her face (or ours), turning on/off the lights, sipping from a straw...even making new sounds or attempting new words without being prompted. All these “little” actions are so encouraging to us and you can just see the pride beaming off her face. That little smile, proud laugh and excited shriek has definitely has brought me to tears…even in front of her therapists on more then one occasion! They’ve been wonderful in letting those tears flow, giving a comforting and celebratory hug and grabbing some tissue.:)
While the term inchstone might typically be used for those with developmental delays or special needs I find it such a wonderful term to be used for everyone and any age. You never stop working towards a goal no matter how big or small. What a wonderful idea to celebrate all those little moments and barriers you have pushed through to get closer to your end goal. We could all use a little boost and encouragement every once in a while, sometimes we need it the most as we get older. I’m not talking constant praise and celebrations...let’s not get carried away here!🤣 But think about it, what a fabulous and simple way to boost the spirit of a loved one, a peer, even a stranger then by saying “I see your progress and you are killing it! Let’s do this!”.
I know there is so much children as learning on a daily basis and will continue to learn throughout their lifetime but I think there is so much that we as adults can learn from those little babes. They don’t compare, they don’t judge, they don’t stress (tantrums not included😉). They just do and if it’s not working they figure out a new way until they get there. There’s no dwelling over what if this or that was different because they see the end goal and figure out their new game plan to get there. Yes, it might take you 20 inchstones but heck that was 20 walls you knocked down, climbed over, made it through! Sometimes we need to give ourselves a break and pat on the back for how far we’ve really come. Sometimes we need to give those around us a little boost to remind them how far they’ve come. At the end of the day we are all making our own inchstones and we are all pretty amazing…no matter your age.
