Are They Twins?
I know Eric and I aren’t the only parents to hear comments or questions directed at us or our children, and don’t get me wrong the majority are genuine, nice and sincere. Some comments might make us scratch our head a bit but then we realize it’s probably an innocent remark. There is something about babies and kids that just make people say whatever pops in their head, I’ve definitely been there! Other times we are searching for a hidden camera and other times we are fighting back tears and/or biting our tongues because unfortunately people can be just nasty and rude. At the end of the day I would say typically people are kind hearted in their remarks. But you definitely have to learn to navigate that and learn some people have ZERO filter or sense about them, and no matter what you say some people are just who they are.
Also, I am not oblivious to the fact that others have sadly heard far worse comments/questions and others don’t really have to be on the defense when strangers are talking to them or their children. My intention of writing this article is really just to share some of these encounters, I’ve tried to stick to the light and funny ones or the ‘no way is that true’ comments. (If you need to vent about nasty comments you’ve heard I am happy to do that with you!) Maybe these antidotes will make you say ok I’m not the only one to hear some unique things or maybe we will all think twice about how we are phrasing comments (I know I have become much more aware). Or maybe it’ll make us all more comfortable to ask a question (in the right context of course😉).
As we’ve become a little more comfortable navigating this whole parenting world we have changed our attitude of being automatically on the defense when we see someone approach us. This has allowed us to appreciate those people that are genuinely kind and trying to show us we’re not alone in our adventures. We have collected a few funny “you won’t believe this” stories and have had a lot of learning experiences to show us how to respond in a way that can educate others. We are all about talking to others and answering sincere questions...so please ask away!
“Are they twins?” or “Oh how sweet twins!”
This is either a question or a statement directed at us/the girls by at least one person literally every time we are out anywhere. We’ve also heard some interesting reasons why they can tell they aren’t twins after we tell them. I’ve started to notice the majority of people that ask then go on to tell us that they have twins, there are twins in their family or they are a twin so I think it’s a way to connect and in some cases share a story or advice. One kind woman went on for 5 minutes with a sweet pep talk that I didn’t have the heart to tell her they aren’t twins.
“Are they both yours?”
This was a follow up to a question about their ages, I was definitely thrown off at first! After thinking about it later on and there are a few different scenarios that came to mind that would correlate with that question...a rather bold question nonetheless.
“Oh you have a boy and a girl, how fun!” “How old is he?” “What’s his name?”
For whatever reason people think Vivienne is a boy, even when wearing a headband. Once we tell them no she’s a girl, we hear some interesting reasons how they can then tell Viv is a girl. One remark was that they could tell by her eyes--what?!
“No way she isn’t that old, I’m pretty sure she’s only (insert number here) months.”
We heard this one a lot when Camilla was younger but one specific encounter stands out in our minds. There was a man that tried to basically convince us Camilla was younger because his grandson was 6 months old and doing x,y,z. There are only so many ways you can tell someone your baby is 6 months old before you just stop trying. We were speechless at the end of the conversation when he finally agreed with us and said ‘Oh, I think you’re right’. Umm you think sir we were only there when she was born and one of us physically birthed her.
“You shouldn’t have her out she’s too little and too young”
A lady was kind enough to share her view to me as Camilla is screaming while I’m trying to change her diaper. She was about 4 months at this time-definitely old enough to be out. The lady was walking past me out of the bathroom...easy to give unsolicited advice as you are walking away. Thankfully there was another woman in the bathroom who patted me on the shoulder and said I was doing a good job.
“Are those fake glasses?” “Oh cute you put fake glasses on your baby!”
We’ve had on multiple occasions where people think Millie’s glasses are fake and more of an accessory.
I had been talking to an older gentleman and we had been having a nice conversation about his grandkids and Camilla when he hit me with this bold question…I thought for a hot minute I was on a hidden camera show
“So how did you have your baby, naturally or c-section?”
Well she didn’t want to come and meet us on her own so we had to do an emergency c-section
“But you would have birthed her naturally otherwise, right?”
“Wow you have your hands full!” (as they walk past)
Are they offering some help?! Do they have any tips? Are they offering to babysit?! Do they really just think we’re crazy?!
